Keep your damn jack!

Happened to think of a funny story that my mother told me when I was much younger.While searching the web for the actual story,I found many versions and some sources said that Danny Thomas originally told it.
It is a joke and also a story with a moral.References are made to it often enough that everyone should hear it.
My version follows:
A man was driving along a country road very late one night.There was a loud “bang” followed by the familiar”Kathunk,Kathunk” of a flat tire.He reluctantly rolled up his sleeves and pulled the spare tire from the trunk.To his surprise,there was no jack to be found! “&^&**^%$@#!$$^!”,he hollered.
As he was kicking the tires wondering what he could do he noticed a porch light, in the distance,and set out to find a jack.
The walk was a long one.As he stumbled along he began to imagine waking a farmer up from his sleep and finding him unfriendly about the intrusion.After an hour of stumbling,getting caught in sticker bushes and losing a shoe in a mudhole,he could finally see the front steps.
Other thoughts came to him.What if the farmer has a gun? What if he sicks a big dog on him?What if the farmer ROBS him when he realizes he is alone?
The man was so angry about the whole situation that he just knew the farmer was going to have a fit about a stranger at his door!
The man stomps up the steps and pounds on the door! An upstairs light comes on and while waiting for the door to open,the stranded man imagines a red faced,bug eyed farmer wrenching open that door!
Footsteps…The door cracks and a voice says,”Can I help you?”
The stranded man,red faced and raging shouts,”Oh,keep your DAMN jack!”,and storms away.

I try to take the attitude of strangers with a grain of salt and not personally.After all,they may have been stumbling around in the dark all night! LOL!

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One thought on “Keep your damn jack!

  1. I first read this same Keep Your Damn Jack Story in the early 1960s in a book by Joel P. McElvoy (name from my memory) I can not find the name of the author or of the book on the Internet.

    Charles Moseley

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