No “backsies” !
“Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.”
The idea of gift giving came up among my kids this morning. It does not fit my cliché, exactly, but gift giving/receiving has its bugaboos.
Yesterday, my granddaughter had shared each of her four stickers that she received for bravery during those nasty school booster shots. One of the recipients of this act of generosity had accidentally sent his sticker through the wash. I offered him my sticker.
“No,that’s YOURS.” Katherine said.
“Yes, I love it that you shared it with me. It made me so happy.” I replied.
“You can’t give it to him!”
“When you gave it to me it became mine, Katherine. Now I’d love to use it to make someone else feel happy. Once you give someone special a gift, it is so important to trust that what they use it for gives them pleasure. It does not mean that it was not loved by them.”
“OK, then.” She smiled and walked away.
My daughter and I recently had an interesting discussion. I am an absolute “no strings” person. She feels the gift is a “piece of her” not to be used for anything but what she intended.
Both feelings are absolutely valid, but this divide can cause such hurt feelings among those who do not share the same philosophy.
Once I realise that the bearer of a gift has “heart-strings” attached, I try to be mindful of it.
It is difficult when you are a “no strings” kind. I am disappointed when I realise the recipient, of one my gifts, does not take an opportunity to pass it on for fear of MY feelings. It would please me, for sure, to have the same gift providing further “giving/receiving” pleasures, and so on…
It is important to realise that both philosophies exist…which are you?