Fortune Telling

Hey! Someone must be looking over my shoulder!

Library books.

Just yesterday, I had a fortune cookie and I was thinking how lame the fortunes are! Of course, if they weren’t vague and obviously, just for fun, there would be lawsuits.

Imagine you are sitting in a restaurant alone one evening. You crack open the delightful meal-ending treat and it says, “The people at the next table suspect you of a terrible crime.”

You glance quickly around the room meeting the eye of a man in an odd green plaid blazer. He grins and nods knowingly. OH NO! He knows!

It wasn’t your fault, it happened years ago!

But, how could he know? “I was sure that I was alone!” , you whisper under your breath.

The following months are spent looking over your shoulder and loitering at the entrances of dry cleaners… watching and waiting, hoping to spot that sickening green plaid blazer. THEN, when you find it, you’ll casually look for the man’s name and address while studying the price lists on the counter. Yes, it was a great plan. You can go to his home and reason with him,plead with him! That MAN…he’s been stalking you every night in your dreams! Your eyes are swollen from the lack of sleep. The perimeter of your eye sight is fuzzy and the fact that you have not changed your clothes since that chance encounter makes you really smelly!

Suddenly you are watching your reflection waving to you below the pier. How? When? Nothing matters anymore as you smile a “grinchly” grin at your visage which returns it, then disappears as you race toward the water, head first, shouting,” The book was only two days overdue!”*

* No one was harmed in the creation of this tale. You turn out to be a professional high diver who comes to his/her senses after a refreshing “dip”, and pays the library fine by donating your time to reading for children every other Tuesday.

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6 thoughts on “Fortune Telling

  1. Hilarious! My favorite part was: You crack open the delightful meal-ending treat and it says, “The people at the next table suspect you of a terrible crime.”

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