Bartholomew Sparks

Bartholomew Sparks was afraid of sharks

Never ventured into the sea.

He conquered that fear by staying right here

Oh how clever was he!

Bartholomew found that he feared dry ground

There are mummies buried real deep.

He ran every where with no time to spare

And tried not to make one peep.

At night in his bed, he covered his head

For the monsters dwelt below.

One day he stayed in, covered up to his chin

And found there was no place to go.

Bartholomew cried, “It’s lonely to hide,

I won’t leave myself out any more.”

He stood up real straight and accepted his fate

Then walked right out his door.

Things still make him jump but he climbed that hump

Bartholomew now worries much less

How silly was he to fear the big sea

Now all he avoids is Lock Ness.

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What’s cookin’?

I knew a chicken who had a beef because she was called a ham by some shrimp.

She said nothing about this ribbing ‘cuz she’s chicken…now she’s on the lamb and stewing ’til they meat again.

Just filleting with you.

(Drum roll followed by crashing cymbals!)

Does this smell fishy or have you haddock nuff? 🙂

Get out there and make some noise today my friends!

Telling off Amphibians…not worth it.

I spotted a frog in a tree.

At the same time, she spotted me.

“This is awkward to find you up there.”

The frog rolled her eyes,”I don’t care.”

“I got here while chasing a bug.”

“So did I.” she said. ( sounding smug)

“To me, bugs are so cool!”

Frog then hissed,” You’re a real fool!”

“Sorry” I said.”Didn’t mean to be rude.”

She went on, “Bugs are just food!”

From the looks of it she had a date

She had set up a glass and a plate.

“Can’t imagine you sharing a meal.

You haven’t one single pinch of appeal.”

THEN she flipped two mean birds my way.

I almost left… but decided to stay.

She had one BIG bug up inside her glass.

The best that I could do was let it pass.

The Funny Sticks

Playing upon words,phrases, and sci-fi films…

This is a movie that I quote so very often.

John Candy was a brilliant funny man…this was not his best film but his presense sure helps the silly theme.

“Funny…she doesn’t look Druish?”

“I’m a Mog. Half man, half dog, I’m my own best friend.”

Rick Morannis was at his silly best, as well. The whole movie kept me in stitches and continues to stick me right in the funny bone!

I don’t think you need to be a sci-fi buff to laugh but it sure makes it a better ride.

The word play is magnificent…double meanings abound.

Kick back with a friend you enjoy being “silly” with and have some “spit takes” together!

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Louis’ Sheep

There was this man. His name was Louis.

He got involved with a lady named Flo.

He owned a farm and sold some sheep.

All he wanted was to make some dough.

Louis was a bachelor and timid about things.

His lady friend was hot on his trail.

She wanted marriage right away.

Faster than two shakes of a little  lamb’s tail.

He tried to sell her a sheep instead.

He said, “This pretty girl will do.”

Flo had had quite enough!

” I really don’t wanna lose you (Lou’s ewe)!”

“Then take a ram, bam, thank-you  madame.”

Louis was buried out beyond the old oak tree.

THE END

I admit it. I was drinking twisted tea when I wrote this. I am a silly frog.